I haven’t posted in a while but that doesn’t mean stuff hasn’t been going on!
Short version: I did not get pregnant during my January cycle.
Long version: January was the first month that I used a fertility monitor in conjunction with ovulation prediction tests and charting. My temps were a bit more erratic than previous cycles — I still had a normal cycle with a clear thermal shift but it was more up-and-down than usual. Hopefully, it was just an odd month and not indicative of declining fertility — only time will tell on that count!
On my ninth cycle day, I had a temp rise that looked like the beginning of an ovulation shift. It made me nervous and to my dismay, the next day it rose even higher. Shitshitshit! Was I really ovulating on CD10?! D and I had missed my fertile window the two previous months; I couldn’t believe we were missing it again! This was around 6:30a and I decided to make a move so we would have a chance — albeit a slim one — for the month of January.
So I crawled back into bed and stared at my deeply sleeping boyfriend. I tried to decide what to do: should I just start rubbing and kissing on him? Should I gently wake him up and explain what was going on? I decided on the former but every time I tried to make my move, he’d roll over or something. When did sex become so hard? After my gazillionth failed attempt to wake him up, he stumbled to his feet to go to the bathroom. Don’t mistake this for success — he practically sleep-walks to the bathroom when he needs to pee. When he got back into bed, I poked him lightly before he could transition from ‘Mostly Asleep’ to ‘Borderline Coma’.
Me: I know this is odd timing but could you give me some sweet loving?
Him: (groggily) I’m still feeling kind of sick. Tomorrow, okay? [He had been fighting a cold all week]
Me: Okay. It’s just that .. I was hoping we could try this month and tomorrow will be too late.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He returned to the bathroom and after a few minutes, came back to bed.
Him: I’m sorry, I just can’t handle having a kid right now. I’m 41 and can barely take care of myself.